It's kind lame to say but this makes me so depressed sometimes that all I do is cry. And the only thing that makes me stop is him. How did I let myself fall so deep with him?
And what makes this harder is that in the same time that I want to forget him, I don’t want to let him go. When I feel that I’m letting him go I run back to him because I can’t imagine my life without him anymore. He has been by my side on the hardest times of my life. And when nothing was making me happy he could put a smile in my face without I even notice. He is the reason of most of my smiles.
He makes me so happy and sad at the same time. Oh, god! Why am I like this? I just need to let him go.
It’s almost October and in 2 months his going to break my heart again like he did in the last 2 years. And I’m going to hate him and I’m going to hate myself for hating him. I’m going to feel like shit for 3 months. Then he will come back and make everything right. He going to fix my heart (the one that he breaks) and everything will be fine. I’ll be in peace at least until October of next year when everything will start to go wrong again.
It’s a circle that seems to never end. I love him. That’s it nothing more and nothing last. I just fucking love him.
